Is America Ready For Its Second "Mexican" President?

Satire by John W. Lillpop

Bill Richardson, Governor of New Mexico and shrill advocate for Old Mexico when it comes to illegal aliens, should be arrested.

The man is guilty of numerous transgressions including DWI (driving while incompetent), treason, aiding and abetting fugitives escape the grasp of the law, and most dramatically, false advertising in order to confuse, delude, and deceive American voters.

While any one of Richardson's sins should immediately disqualify him from consideration for the Democrat presidential nomination, it is his false advertising foible that has constitutional scholars and those who champion ethics and truth in politics most distressed.

As anyone who follows politics knows, Richardson has bragged that, if elected, he would become the first Mexican president in U.S. history.

However, that reckless claim is a blatant and deliberate lie, and Bill Richardson knows it.

Anyone who has paid even the slightest bit of attention to U.S. President Bush over the past six years knows that George W. Bush is the very first Mexican president in our nation's history.

Mind you, W has no Latino blood running through his dyslexic, alcoholic veins, has no family genealogy that traces his family Bush back to Old Mexico, and he speaks Spanish just slightly better than he speaks English.

Which is to say not very well at all!

Nonetheless, given his policies concerning open borders, amnesty for invading criminals, no illegal alien left behind, and other outrageous attempts to Mexicanize America, George W. Bush is truly the first Mexican president to misgovern the United States!

Albeit, Richardson has been more proactive than W in one regard: He has joined forces with the president of Mexico, Felipe Calderon, in initiating programs to eradicate poverty in Mexico.

To date, that program has been limited to chauffeuring illegal aliens across the scorching desert heat in air-conditioned stretch limousines to the U.S. border and dropping said miscreants off within ten feet of the promised land.

The Calderon-Richardson scheme to end poverty in Mexico provides illegal aliens with detailed maps of Arizona, California, and Texas, including directions to the nearest ACLU branches, welfare and food stamp claim stations, and Forged ID discount centers.

Illegal aliens also receive a Spanish-language telephone directory that lists cell phone numbers and e-mail addresses for prosecutor Johnny Sutton, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales, the United Nations, Amnesty International, and Eddie "Piolín" Sotelo a former illegal alien now broadcasting live from what used to be Los Angeles.

When asked why aliens are not provided with detailed maps of his home state of New Mexico, Richardson replied that budgets there are very tight right now, and that illegal aliens would surely fare much better in Arizona and California.

And what about Senor~ Jorge Bush, America's sixty-something Mexican president?

Do not count him out!

White House insiders report that Bush is working tirelessly to bring his new war czar, Douglas Lute, up to speed on "that Iraq thing," so that Bush can spend of all his waking hours on behalf of illegal aliens and his Mexican handlers.

All of which begs the crucial question of the day: How do you say legacy in Spanish?




John Lillpop is a recovering liberal.