Have We No Compassion? What About Poor Haitians?

John W. Lillpop


After invading criminals marched all across America “demanding” citizenship and full rights last spring, one must ask: What next?

How about the good people of Haiti? There is hardly a more oppressed and impoverished people in the world.

And Haitians have other advantages: They are uneducated and poor ''people of color.''

Perfect future Democrats, in other words.

Haitians do not speak English—which is another point in their favor, if you are stuck with a diseased liberal mind.

Hundreds, perhaps thousands, of Haitians set sail for the American Dream each year in leaky old wooden pallets, unsuitable for kindling wood, much less navigating the sea.

Risking life and limb, these courageous people come only in pursuit of a better life. Unlike Mexicans coming to retake the American Southwest, Haitians come only for freedom--and work.

Unfortunately for Haitians, they are usually intercepted at sea and turned back before reaching the U.S. mainland. Those who somehow make it in are immediately jailed, and prepared for deportation.

But to be perfectly fair, why shouldn't Haitians be allowed to congregate in major American cities to march and demand, demand, demand?

There are only 8.5 million of them. Surely we have room for a few million more?

Right, President Bush?

But, you say that Haitians would have to cross the sea, not a land border.

Right.

So, here is my plan. Haitians, start your life pallets and head for--Mexico! Once there, you can simply stroll across the U.S. border and start demanding rights, food, education, health care--in short, you can demand the American Dream.

After all, as good-hearted, hard working, non-English speaking people of color, you deserve American citizenship.

Mind you, you are not entitled to it, but because rule of law no longer matters in America, you derserve U.S. citizenship.

A word of caution to migrating Haitians: Do not get caught as an illegal alien in Mexico. The authorities there will regard you as a felon, and you can expect very harsh treatment from the same fools who think Americans should turn our beautiful nation over to 38 million illiterate peasants from Mexico.

One other tip: Once you arrive in Mexico, follow the taco and Cuervo beer lines to Los Angeles. Once a proud, majestic city, Los Angeles is now the Illegal Alien Capitol of the World.

The man in charge there, Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa, loves illegal aliens; in fact, he has about four million of them living on U.S. taxpayer money in Los Angeles, so I am sure he can find room for some needy Haitians.

Mayor Villaraigosa will arrange for all your needs, including voting ballots, housing, driver's licenses, education, food, and health care--the whole ball of wax.

Perhaps you are worried about language barriers? Fret not! Mayor Villaraigosa will require all public service providers to speak and write Haitian just for you!

Antonio is a ''giving'' kind of guy, especially when it comes to wasting taxpayers’ money. So relax and enjoy.

Mind you, the mayor is not very bright. He is what we call a Democrat, but, heck, when you are on the down-and-out, you take what you can get.

Welcome to America!