Quiz on Illegal Immigration

by John W. Lillpop




Since the debate on illegal immigration is heating up again, here is a quiz to measure one's liberal quotient on this vital issue. Liberal quotient, of course, is the just opposite of ''intelligence quotient."


I. Illegal immigration is:

( ) Desperately needed by liberals to win elections.
( ) A misnomer. They are actually Undocumented Democrats!
( ) Mexico’s chief export.
( ) Not a threat to U.S. homeland security. Why would Mexican peasants destroy the land of free rice and tacos?



II. Border security should be:

( ) Ignored, because we need cheap lettuce.
( ) Ignored, because we need cheap lettuce and more Democrats.
( ) Turned over to Felipe Calderon in the name of diversity.
( ) Used to keep Republicans out of the United States.



III. The proposed fence between the United States and Mexico is:

( ) A terrific idea, if built by firms owned by women and minorities.
( ) Unconstitutional. It discriminates against Mexicans too fat to climb over a fence.
( ) “Pork” in Red States, but economic necessity in blue states.



IV. The proposed Guest Worker Program:

( ) Is illegal if it prevents Mexicans from collecting welfare.
( ) Will work if guest workers are required to join a labor union.
( ) Should include free health care, driver's licenses, college degrees, and interest-free mortgages for illegal aliens
( ) Sounds like amnesty, but Mexicans here illegally deserve amnesty!



V. Spanish versus English: Mexican illegal immigrants should:

( ) Be prevented from learning English because the Democrats have printed 30 million ballots in Spanish for the 2008 election.
( ) Be kept English-illiterate to avoid exposure to GOP lies and propaganda.
( ) Be taught vital English words and phrases like welfare, food stamps, ACLU, racism, class-action lawsuit, Vote Democrat, six-pack, etc.

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VI. Janet Napolitano, the Democrat governor of Arizona:

( ) Was for Illegal Immigration before she was against it.
( ) Was a “stealth” candidate in Mexico’s presidential election in early July.
( ) Thinks ''Minutemen'' is a reference to the sexual staying power of Border Patrol agents.

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VII. In dealing with massive protests by illegal aliens, the most prudent action would be to:

( ) Send a Quit Claim Deed to California, Texas, Arizona, and New Mexico to Felipe Calderon.
( ) Pardon all illegal aliens with an Executive Order signed by President Bush.
( ) Hand out Spanish-language ballots for 2008 with Barack Obama's name pre-punched as a vote for president.
( ) Sell forged driver’s licenses and Social Security cards, and use
proceeds to buy ads opposing John McCain.

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Well, how did you do? Liberal enough to be considered ''anti-American''?



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