Illegal Aliens: Why Not Venezuela as an Invasion Destination?

By John W. Lillpop

As Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez lurches further and further leftward, he continues to justify his socialist fascism as a legitimate, almost spiritual, rebellion against the evils of capitalism.

Here http://apnews.myway.com/article/20070503/D8OT4O100.html

This portly anti-American anarchist uses fiery language and unkind metaphors to portray capitalism as an enemy of common men.

According to Chavez, capitalism exists only to secure and maintain privileged lives and profits for the very rich and powerful at the expense of working lower-class families.

That actually sounds more like Mexico, but that is Chavez's pitch and he is standing by it.

Chavez even casts our very own President Bush as a sulfur emitting Satanic figure, and, according to Chavez, a perfect example of Yankee capitalism gone amuck.

Only Speaker Pelosi and Majority Leader Reid speak in less flattering terms about Duyba.

When in comes to socialism, Chavez visualizes a virtual paradise for the unwashed where the filthy rich have been vanquished and the playing field has been leveled to make everyone equal.

Equally poor, that is!

Again, only American liberals are more dedicated to universal redistribution of poverty than is Chavez.

Still, Venezuela should be a favored destination for scores of millions of peasants currently squatting illegally in America and for those still in Mexico but seriously considering an invasion somewhere.

Think about it, illegal aliens and would be illegals.

Invading Venezuela has many distinct advantages including:

Spanish is already the national language in Venezuela, with little or no language pollution from English-speaking gringos. This is an ideal circumstance for those who hate English and gringos in equal measure.

President Chavez is obviously fluent in Spanish, and although this is not widely known, Chavez's broken English is actually more coherent than most speeches and press conferences that Duyba manages to mangle!

For Hispanics more comfortable with being governed by one of their own, relief from white menaces like George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, Nancy Pelosi, and Harry Reid would be immediate.

In Venezuela, the top dog is named Chavez, a hardcore Hispanic name if ever there was one.

As a dedicated socialist, President Chavez is amenable to taking from the well off and giving to the poor. This is perfect for struggling illegal alien families looking for free public education, health care, and other services to which they are not entitled and are not skilled enough to earn!

Remember also that Chavez is a pal of Fidel Castro, the neurotic Cuban president who makes sure that the world knows he is in charge and in terrific health, but then mysteriously vanishes from sight during the May Day celebrations.

Fidel Castro is an icon in the illegal alien community, and living in Venezuela would allow Castro devotees to worship their communist god openly, without fear of scorn or derision.

Well, what are you illegal aliens waiting for? Venezuela is obviously the ideal destination for good hearted, hard working invaders to settle.

How can we American citizens help make your departure seamless--and immediate?


John Lillpop is a recovering liberal.