Welcome to New Joisy, Where Illegal Ain't!

Satire By John W. Lillpop

United States Attorney Christopher Christie, New Jersey's top federal prosecutor, is rumored to be interested in running for governor of that state in the near future.

Christie's personal political aspirations may help explain his insane pandering to the Latino Leadership Alliance of New Jersey in which he assured the assembled crowd that living in the United States illegally is not illegal.

Say what?

Yes, you heard correctly. Illegal ain't illegal, at least in the opinion of one demented and politically ambitious federal prosecutor.

This out of touch prosecutor, who is obviously a RINO and quite possibly a closeted Democrat, was trolling for Hispanic votes when he said, “Don’t let people make you believe that that’s a crime that the U.S. Attorney’s office should be doing something about. It’s not.”

Judicialwatch:
http://www.judicialwatch.org/blog/u-s-atty-says-undocumented-immigrants-not-illegal

Christie expanded his remarks with even more good news for Latinos: It is not a crime to cross US borders illegally, to engage in ID theft and forgery so as to secure employment and credit, or to steal public services to which illegals are not entitled.

Appointed by President George W. Bush in 2001, Christie offered several other mindless views:

* Driving 100 mph without seat belts is not a crime, as so ably demonstrated by the current New Jersey Governor, Jon Corzine;

*Evading income taxes is not a crime, because tax rates are much too high:

*Murder and rape may not be crimes provided one hires a tough minded lawyer who specializes in jury tampering and subornation of justice as defense tactics.

All in all, Christie emphasized that while the law may be a bitch in other states, in New Jersey it is more of a cafeteria plan. Latinos are free to pick and choose the laws they agree with and which are convenient to follow.

On the other hand, Latinos are perfectly justified in ignoring federal, state, and local laws that exist only to harass brown people and which are otherwise a pain in the ass. Examples include laws that make it a crime to drive while intoxicated, or for illegal aliens to vote in U.S. elections.

Christie believes that such statutes fail to recognize important Latino customs and culture and, as such, are unconstitutional and unnecessary, especially when one is running for governor.

Christie's presentation uncovered another vital truth:
In New Jersey, being a stupid federal prosecutor is not a crime!

Lust, Not Compassion, Drives Unholy Priests to Illegal Aliens

By John W. Lillpop

Pope Benedict's recent pilgrimage to America focused on two major issues of the day. Namely, the untoward history of sexual abuse by Catholic priests and the church's anti-law and order position when it comes to illegal aliens.

The two issues may, in fact, be intertwined more than generally realized.

Specifically, as police in San Jose, California are discovering, some alleged men of God may actually be motivated more by sexual lust than "Christian Compassion" when it comes to fighting for illegal aliens.

Take the case of Pastor Gustavo Antonio Lanzas, former pastor of Iglesia Cristiana Luz y Verdad, Spanish for the Christian Church of Light and Truth.

SJMN:

http://www.mercurynews.com//ci_9081381?IADID=Search-www.mercurynews.com-www.mercurynews.com

Lanzas, 64, is being held in a Santa Clara County Jail, without bail, after being accused of 12 felony counts of lewd acts with a minor. Additional charges may be added, according to prosecutor Jim Demertzis.

The undoing of Lanzas and disclosure of his alleged sexual crimes came when a 16-year-old boy charged that he been molested by the family's priest, Pastor Gustavo Antonio Lanzas, starting when the boy was just 13.

San Jose police say they have identified six possible victims of Lanzas' alleged sexual indiscretions, and want to talk to several other families.

Police point out that illegal aliens are particularly vulnerable to assault by priestly predators because illegals fear having their illegal status exposed. Unholy men apparently use that fear to keep young prey quiet.

It is bad enough when prominent leaders in any church eschew Biblical admonitions concerning "Do not steal," "Do not covet your neighbor's property," and "Do not bear false witness" in order to defend those here unlawfully.

It is far worse, and unforgivably evil, to promote violation of the law in order to have a readily available stock of young, fearful prey with which to satisfy one's perverted lust.

Illegal aliens are a curse on America. Preventing and reversing the invasion of America should in no way be mollified by heeding the words of religious leaders driven by sexual lust.

John McCain's Flawed Pledge to Fight Poverty

By John W. Lillpop

Speaking at a town hall gathering in Inez, Kentucky, Republican John McCain promised to wage a new "War on Poverty," reminiscent of the late Lyndon Baines Johnson some 40 years ago.

``Government has a role to play in helping people who, through no fault of their own, are having a hard time,'' McCain, an Arizona senator, said. He defined that role as offering choices on education, health care and job training, rather than providing handouts.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/bloomberg/20080423/pl_bloomberg/a5d4rqyixmww

Unfortunately, the senator and president want-to-be failed to mention the most cost-effective and responsible approach to the thorny issue of poverty: Deportation of illegal aliens!

Indeed, there may be as many as 38 million "illiterate peasants" in America, illegal aliens who have no legal or moral basis for being here. Without these freeloaders and scam artists in our midst, America's poverty numbers would be far more respectable, and more in line with expectations for the most prosperous nation on earth.

But John McCain, in cahoots with the likes of Teddy Kennedy and Nancy Pelosi, would grant amnesty to all those 38 million, thereby encouraging yet another 38 million "illiterate peasants" to invade, thereby adding to the poverty crisis.

How much further must this nation sink before Mexican lobbyists like John McCain forsake the insane betrayal of America and its citizens?

Woe Unto Truth Tellers In Colorado's House of Representatives!

By John W. Lillpop

Colorado State Rep. Douglas Bruce is apparently a man of unusual candor and one who favors the truth over politically-correct double talk.

That assessment of Rep. Bruce was borne out by his remarks while speaking at the podium of the state House of Representatives on Monday.

During debate on a bill that would allow the state help "immigrant" workers get a temporary federal visa, Rep. Davis sent the august body into utter chaos when he said:

"I would like to have the opportunity to state at the microphone why I don't think we need 5,000 more illiterate peasants in Colorado."

According to reports, Bruce's "outburst" drew an audible gasp from the assembled nit wits in the House.

Which is actually a sign of progress, because at least there was a quorum of House members who were sober and awake enough to gasp audibly! Progress, not perfection is clearly good enough in Colorado.

State Rep. Kathleen Curry, a Democrat who was serving as chairwoman during the debate, went into ding-bat shock and immediately told the Republican lawmaker that he was no longer recognized to speak.

"How dare you?" demanded Curry, obviously outraged that free speech, wrapped in truth and light, had somehow invaded the House chamber while the not-so-honorable chair lady was trolling for Hispanic votes.

Yahoo: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080421/ap_on_re_us/lawmaker_kicks_photographer


Of course, Curry does have a point. After all, Mexican farm workers imported for slave labor are vastly underestimated by racist pigs like Rep. Bruce.

For example, many of the laborers are closeted Rhodes Scholars, toiling in 110-degree heat for sixteen hours a day in order to expose the plight of the victimized poor brought here by vote hungry Democrats and cheap labor hungry Republicans.

Many other Mexican laborers are working on post-graduate degrees in linguistics and need the gritty-nitty banter found only in strawberry fields to better understand barrio Spanish.

Other alleged laborers are actually crafty Mexican investors who come disguised as pickers so as to gather competitive intelligence and other financial information needed to support hostile take-over bids for tomato and grape ranches in Colorado's rich agriculture lands.

In fact, when you get down to it, the only "illiterate peasant" around is State Rep. Kathleen Curry.

Got that Rep. Bruce?

Papers for the "Undocumented"

By John W. Lillpop

To hear Democrats and Hispanic racists tell it, the 38 million or so criminals squatting in America from Mexico and points further south are not "illegal aliens."

Rather, the uninvited and unwelcome guests are undocumented lovers, students, philanthropists, poets, philosophers, artists, circus clowns, snake charmers,earth worshipers,comics, human rights activists, potential organ donors, and other vital cogs in America the beautiful.

According to deluded open borders nut cases, nary a terrorist or other manner of criminal is among the beloved 38 million. Each and every one is a noble and loving human miracle, worthy of the highest form of respect that can be conferred on a stranger without knowing a damn thing about that stranger's medical, financial, criminal, or social background and history.

There is, they point out, no Spanish translation for the term Al-Quaeda. Not needed, you see, because potential terrorists are weeded out of Latino families at an early age. And raised to be members of MS-13 and other respectable Latino gangs, it should be noted.

So to the leftist and Hispanic racist mind set, the issue of illegal immigration is merely a Caucasian canard to keep brown people out of America. What is the fuss, they scream, over a simple piece of paper when human poverty and hunger need to be addressed?

During his recent visit to America, Pope Benedict even joined the fray by lecturing American politicians about the awful consequences of separating families.

So, Your Holiness, why not counsel your flock of brown sheep to stay with their families in their home nations, instead of invading America and and disrupting the aspirations of middle-class American families who just happen to be citizens?

If family is so critically important to Pancho, then Pancho should not leave his family in Mexico to invade America!

To those Panchos already here and in a snit about leaving family created here or smuggled in, do us a favor: Take all your family, including anchor babies, with you back to Mexico! Pronto, if you please!

Above all else, keep that family together--just not here!

But to concede a point ever so slightly, I agree that illegal aliens deserve some form of American documentation.

In my not-so-humble view, that document should be an an official Deportation Order issued to each and every last one of the 38 million invaders!

How's that for documenting the undocumented?

When It Comes to Illegal Aliens, Papal Infallibility Is a Crock!

By John W. Lillpop

Perhaps it is naive to expect much in the way of moral leadership from an institution that coddles sexual perverts (masquerading as "Holy Fathers")
who use their presumed holiness to deceive and sexually manipulate thousands of unsuspecting children, while professing to act in the name of God.

How much respect is owed an institution that has spent billions of dollars to settle law suits brought by innocent children against said "Holy Fathers"?

With all due respect to Pope Benedict, the Catholic Church is no longer respected as a source for moral inspiration in America.

The following words from the Gospel of Luke seem to apply.


Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves.

Ye shall know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles?

To be perfectly candid, the fruit of the Catholic church these days is rotten. As in figs and thistles.

Which means that the pope's rhetoric on illegal immigration is irrelevant at best, and, at worst, is self-serving drivel intended to shore up sagging membership in the Catholic church.

Papal "infallibility" and or "inerrancy" is obviously a myth when one considers the following:

Rather than blaming Americans for resisting the invasion of our great nation, Pope Benedict should be providing moral and spiritual leadership by calling on illegal aliens and the Mexican government to respect the borders, laws, property and culture of the United States.

Rather than chiding U.S. authorities for enforcing the rule of law, the pope should demand that illegal aliens voluntarily return to their nations of origin and follow established procedures for legal immigration to America.

Rather than calling for open-ended compassion for those here unlawfully, the pope should remind illegal aliens that receiving public services such as education, food stamps, and health care to which they are not entitled is stealing. Stealing is a sin.

Rather than lecturing law-abiding Americans about opening their wallets and hearts to illegal aliens, the Pope should condemn document fraud and ID theft, crimes used extensively by illegals to secure employment and public services. Such practices are bearing false witness, and are sins.

Illegal immigration is like robbing a bank. It involves disregard for the law and wanton thievery of goods and services belonging to, or intended for, others.

Illegal immigration is wrong, and should be condemned and most emphatically by the leader of the church allegedly bequeathed to the faithful by Jesus Christ.

The Pope's position on illegal aliens is immoral! At least with respect to illegal aliens, that means that Papal infallibility is a crock!

San Francisco Runs Ad to Attract Illegal Aliens

Satire By John W. Lillpop



Most American cities find that illegal aliens bring with them unacceptable social, budgetary, educational, and health care burdens that severely strain resources intended for taxpaying citizens.

As a result, most cities discourage unwelcome third-world interlopers from invading their cities in the first place.

San Francisco, on the other hand, is unlike most American cities, a fact to be celebrated by those fortunate enough to live in most other American cities.

For example, San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom and the Board of Supervisors have recently discovered that there is a frightening shortfall of needy, poor folks clogging the social service centers and emergency rooms here.

Too much English is being spoken in fast food restaurants and car washes in this goofy metropolis, at least according to the likes of Mayor Newsom.

Thus, the leftist loonies in charge have elected to run advertisements to attract more illegal aliens to the City.

Its called pandering, but Newsom calls it "reaching out to the disadvantaged," which is what 30 million Californians will be if we are foolish enough to elect Newsom when he runs for governor in 2010.

Thus, at a time when American citizens are losing their homes to foreclosure, Newsom et. al is spending $80,000 of taxpayer money to inform illegal aliens that The City is open for business and is ready, willing, and able to violate federal law in order to accommodate invading criminals.

Imagine how many past due mortgages currently hounding American citizens could be cured with $80,000?

But favoring American citizens over third-world criminals would be discriminatory and so very Un-San Franciscan, right Mayor?

Thus, San Francisco monies are being spent on ads that read:

"To those in America illegally and are without documents of any type, come to the most beautiful and generous city in the world!

"San Francisco is home to the Golden Gate Bridge, fabulous cable cars, Alcatraz Island, the ACLU, and unlimited supplies of food stamps and welfare goodies for brown people without documents or English skills.

"Why not move your family here and enjoy our relaxing, peaceful environment in which it is a crime to even utter the word deportation, much less attempt it?

"Come to San Francisco where border patrol agents are as unwelcome as the United States Marines and HIV Positive databases designed to abuse AIDS victims.

"Come to San Francisco--where you will have the freedom to express your views, freely and openly. Protest marches are a tradition here, and we welcome your anti-American messages and Mexican flags as well!

"Simply prove that you are here illegally and speak no English whatsoever, and leave the rest to Mayor Newsom!"

And so it goes in the "City that knows how." Or used to know how.