Scooter Libby Could Have Gotten a MUCH Better Deal!

Satire by John W.Lillpop

Juicy details emerging from the final days of Bush-43 include the disclosure that Vice President Dick Cheney waged a full-court press in an attempt to secure a complete pardon for his former chief of staff, Scooter Libby.

The VP apparently became infuriated when President Bush refused to budge on the issue and vacated the Oval Office with Scooter's felony conviction still intact.

As reported in the February 17 on-line edition of the New York Daily News, in part:

"Sources close to Cheney told the Daily News the former vice president repeatedly pressed Bush to pardon Libby, arguing his ex-chief of staff and longtime alter ego deserved a full exoneration - even though Bush had already kept Libby out of jail by commuting his 30-month prison sentence.

He tried to make it happen right up until the very end," one Cheney associate said."

Therefore, although Bush kept Scooter from serving time in prison by commuting his jail sentence in 2007, Libby remains blemished by a felony conviction, a $250,000 fine, and a two-year probation period.

Most distressing, of course, is the felony conviction.

That means that, in order to vote, Scooter will have to register as a Democrat, America's "big tent" party for the deceased, those here illegally, and felons.

ACORN volunteers and DNC leaders call it "inclusive politics," however; honest federal and state authorities classify it as voter fraud.

Raising $250,000 should be relatively easy.

All Libby needs to do is contact a liberal publisher and mention that he would like to write a tell all expose about Dick Cheney from an "insider's" perspective.

You know, dirty little secrets about Cheney's wonky heart (he does not actually have one!). The truth about shooting that lawyer in Texas (it was NOT an accident!).

How W. wanted Cheney's daughter Mary to abort her pregnancy until the president learned that the father was an illegal alien from Mexico who needed an "anchor baby" to avoid deportation.

On and on.

Make the manuscript crude enough, Scooter, and you could be on the New York Times Best Seller List before spring.

In reality, Scooter Libby could have avoided prison and made a small fortune had he played his cards differently.

Indeed, Scooter would be living the good life these days if he had only done the following:

Immediately following his conviction, Scooter should have changed his name to Jose` Libbernandez and assumed a Spanish accent.

A fake ID, including Social Security number and drivers license, were available for purchase directly from Ted Kennedy out of his office on Capitol Hill.

Next, Scooter should have scurried down to Mexico and secured a respectable amount of marijuana, cocaine, and heroine, and then scampered across the border into the U.S. at a location where one is most likely to be spotted by Border Patrol agents.

When spotted by Border Patrol, Scooter should have made a U-turn and started running back towards Mexico.

At that point, because they are racist pigs, the Border Patrol would have chased Scooter and most probably shot him in the butt.

Scooter's best bet at this point would have been: Do not panic--Your ship has finally come in!

After the Border Patrol had arrested Scooter, AKA Jose` Libbernandez, he would have been allowed one call.

Using this call wisely, Scooter would contact the nearest ACLU office, and told them he was an illegal alien from Mexico, shot in the ass by the Border Patrol on the American side of the border.

To assure immediate action by the ACLU, Scooter would mention that he had been shot while smuggling illegal drugs into the U.S.

Within 10 minutes or sooner, an ACLU lawyer would arrive at Scooter's cell and would have immediately started working on his behalf by text messaging Homeland Security guru Michael Chertoff to inform him of Scooter's awful plight.

Before Scooter was actually booked, the Chertoff goons, in concert with the ACLU, would have bailed him out and arrested all of the offending Border Patrol agents to take his place.

Scooter would then receive immunity from all crimes in exchange for his testimony against the criminals, those punks who until two hours ago were Border Patrol agents.

Early next morning, Scooter's ACLU lawyers would visit him in his executive suite at the finest hotel in town, to have him sign documents needed to sue the former Border Patrol agents, the U.S. government, and all conservative radio talk show hosts and right wing columnists.

Provided the ACLU was able to find the right leftist judge and a rigged jury, Scooter could look forward to receiving a five million-dollar judgment for his travails.

Which is nearly what one might have hauled in by selling all those drugs!

What's that, Scooter? You fear you would have been arrested by American authorities and prosecuted?

Chill out, dude!

Remember, you were Jose` Libbernandez, a good hearted, hard working, illiterate peasant who just came here to do work that Americans will not do!

You would have been part of a protected class; a man to who rule of law did not apply.

Welcome to America!

Gangs Drive Off Cops, Terrorize Mexican Town

By John W. Lillpop

Reading the headline, "Gangs Drive Off Cops, Terrorize Mexican Town," could easily cause one to assume that the town in question was Los Angeles, California.

The mistake would be understandable because Los Angeles is under the mayor ship of Antonio Villaraigosa, himself a Mexican national, who has converted a once world-class city into a safe haven for illegal aliens and other third world criminals.

In point of fact, however, the story is about carnage and violence in Villa Ahumada, a city in the nation of Mexico, where the "cactus-studded horizon" is the one thing that makes it distinguishable from Los Angeles.

As reported at Yahoo News, in part:

"VILLA AHUMADA, Mexico – For people caught inside Mexico's drug corridors, life is about keeping your head down and watching your back, especially when the sun dips behind the cactus-studded horizon.

No town knows this better than Villa Ahumada, where the entire police force quit after 70 cartel hit men roared through last spring, killing the police chief, two officers and three townspeople.

Residents were left defenseless again last week when gunmen returned and kidnapped nine people, despite the soldiers manning checkpoints far outside town.

"This was a mellow town where we would walk along main street at night. But now we're too scared to even go out," said Zaida de Santiago."

Another difference between Los Angeles and Villa Ahumada:

Being "a mellow town where people would walk along main street at night" might have been an appropriate description of Los Angeles 20 years ago, but not since the arrival of millions of illegal aliens and Antonio Villaraigosa.

President Obama and Janet Napolitano, Obama's dreadful mistake at Homeland Security, need to keep a watchful eye on events in Mexico so as to assure that Los Angeles is the only American city lost to the abyss of third-world Mexico.

Given the gravity of the situation in Mexico, Obama should also seriously consider a preemptive strike by the U.S. military to keep Mexico's tawdry mess from spilling over into the United States.

jwl

Mexican Government Admits What Many in U.S. Refuse to Accept: English-Proficiency Is Vital!

By John W. Lillpop

Far too many Hispanics in America have refused to learn English, preferring instead to retain their "cultural identify" by speaking and writing only Spanish.
As a result, American taxpayers have been forced (by irresponsible leftist bureaucrats) to spend hundreds of millions of dollars to print ballots, DMV instructions and tests, and other public information in Spanish.

Hispanics and misguided liberals make the insane argument that English is not necessary in order to be successful in America. President Obama even entered the fray by advising Americans to learn Spanish!

Notwithstanding our wrong minded president and Hispanics stuck in the 18th century, the case for English is being successfully made in Mexico.

Finally!

As reported in the Houston Chronicle, in part, at Reference 1:

"CIUDAD VICTORIA, Mexico — With its economy increasingly hitched to the United States, Mexico’s government has launched an ambitious plan to teach English to every schoolchild, even those in kindergarten.

Currently, educators in 21 states and the Federal District are offering the language in a smattering of elementary schools and experimenting with teaching methods. Beginning next fall, 5,000 schools will begin a pilot project with federal textbooks and funds. And within just six years, federal officials hope to have all 12 million public elementary school students learning English.

“The ability to speak English in the 21st century is a must if we want to insert ourselves in the global economy, improve our standard of living or simply live as happier human beings,” said Fernando Gonzalez, the federal official in charge of public education through ninth grade."

How is it that Fernando Gonzalez of Mexico can see the obvious when our brilliant liberal president and millions of Hispanics are utterly clue less when it comes to this issue?


Reference 1:


http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/headline/world/6241783.html